Musings
by californian444
Summary: Ryu wonders about Ren. RyuRen, Pokes fun at all the different Ren pairings. Oneshot, not meant to be taken seriously.


Ryu stared at the boy beside him, as he remained seated on the floor, elbows placed on the coffee table.

The purple-haired shaman ignored him and continued to drink his milk, as if completely unaware that there was another person in the room.

Ryu continued to stare, brows furrowed as he tried to figure everything out. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and snapped.

"That's it!" He exploded, slamming a hand down on the table for dramatic effect.

"You finally figured out your last name?" Ren retorted, wiping his mouth.

"No," The taller boy glared. "I finally realized that I have no choice. I…" Ren's eyes narrowed as he cast Ryu a suspicious glance. Before he knew it, the other shaman threw himself at him, grasping desperately at the front of his yellow jacket.

"I have to know, Ren! PLEASE TEACH ME!"

"W-What the hell!" The Tao instinctively jumped back and furiously pushed Ryu's hands away. "You bastard! What's wrong with you!"

Ryu slumped his shoulders, suddenly looking depressed.

"How do you do it? …Just _how_ are you able to do it?" He was whispering to himself.

"Do _what_! You're not making any sense, bastard."

"Just how…" The former gang leader glanced at him, his expression glum. "Did you manage to attract so many people!" Ren immediately reddened. Whether it was due to embarrassment or anger, Ryu did not know. Probably both.

"Idiot! What kind of question…" Before he could finish, the other boy interrupted him.

"Horo-Horo likes you. He's liked you for quite a while." Ryu didn't think it was possible, but the Chinese shaman proved him wrong by turning an even darker shade of red.

"That's n-not true…" He stuttered weakly. The other boy laughed, his ten-inch hairdo bobbing up and down as he did so.

"You can't even deny it properly. You're so obvious."

"What's your point?" Ren asked, looking irritated.

"Chocolove likes you too. And so does Yoh-danna." Before the pointy-haired shaman could open his mouth, Ryu went on.

"Lyserg-chan seems to be acting nicer to you as the days go by. Even Anna seems to have a soft spot for you!"

"What the hell, you bas-!"

"Hao! Even Hao!" Ryu yelled loudly.

"Not true!" Ren roared back.

"_Please_! 'I'll make you mine'? Don't think I didn't hear about that!" He laughed once more.

"How did you…"

"Hmph. You don't expect Bokuto no Ryu to know these things? As long as it concerns love, then I know." He merely smirked as Ren glared at him.

"…Which brings me back to my point."

"You never had a point to begin with." Ryu ignored him.

"How did you manage to attract all these people? I do not understand… How did you get these skills?" He frowned, staring up at the ceiling.

"People will obviously flock to powerful people, it's only natural." Ren huffed.

"I'm not talking about your shaman skills! I'm talking about your… Your love skills!" Ren apparently had had enough.

"This is stupid, I'm leaving," He announced, getting up from his position on the floor. Ryu began to panic, and immediately stood up as well, grabbing the shorter boy's arm to stop him from leaving.

"I must know!" Ryu was desperate, almost ready to cry and beg if needed. "And that's not the only thing… I must also know…" Ren was unsuccessfully trying to get his arm back. The sword-wielding man merely tightened his hold.

"Why I, Bokuto no Ryu, the most loving man around, am not affected by this spell!"

"The more important question _is…_" Ren snarled, giving one hard tug and managing to get Ryu to let go, to his surprise. "…_Why_ you're even thinking about things like this!"

"I… I guess I'm jealous," The Elvis impersonator admitted.

"Of who? Me or… The others?"

"Um… Both, I guess," Ryu replied, blinking. He backed away, narrowly missing Ren's punch.

"Idiot! That doesn't even make sense!"

"Yes it does! I am jealous of you and the others for completely different reasons! I envy you because you managed to steal even my Lyserg-chan's heart (Ren rolled his eyes at this) and I'm jealous of them because they… They can cling to a person even after knowing that his heart may belong to someone else. I… I can't figure it out!"

"That's one of the stupidest things I've ever hea-" Ren never got to finish his sentence, for before he knew it, he was being kissed by the man in front of him.

… And then he saw red.

"You BASTARD! How dare you do such a thing!" He screamed, blushing furiously. Ryu merely stared up at him from the floor, holding a hand to his now swollen cheek.

"Why did you do it!" He demanded, pointing his Kwan Dao at Ryu's nose.

"I was trying to check if I had really lost my mind."

"YOU HAD LOST YOUR MIND THE MOMENT YOU WERE BORN! I could've told you that, you didn't have to kiss me, you perverted freak!"

Ryu merely smiled at him, eyes sparkling in realization.

"Well, most of my questions still remain unanswered," he muttered, ignoring Ren's death threats. "At least I learned one thing."

"…What?"

"That what Yoh and the others said about you acting like a complete girl. You totally let me dominate that kiss."

"IDIOT! You didn't even give me a chance to react, and then you make a generalization like that!"

"Does that mean I get to kiss you again?"

"NO!"

And so, Ryu continued to ponder, contemplating on whether his questions would ever be answered.

----End----

Yeah, this was stupid. But I noticed that there was absolutely no Ryu/Ren here xD, and I thought "might as well write one." Because Ren gets paired up with EVERYONE xD.

BTW, I love any Ren pairing (preferably yaoi) so please don't feel insulted if you wrote one, I was just having a bit of fun.


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